Monday, February 26, 2007
So I'm having a new issue with our favorite almost-2-year-old.
Tate's always disliked going to nursery, but usually I've been able to let her cry it out for a few minutes and then she has a blast. We've found it works best if Beau drops her off - she has less of a separation anxiety with him than she does with me at this point.
Keep in mind, the first couple of months we were in this ward she did BETTER than she ever had, so I had high hopes for her improving her attendance record. After the new year hit, however, she had a major change of heart.
She's discovered a lovely talent of making herself throw up. Don't ask me where she learned this (I'm one with a very strong stomach and hardly ever get sick - even when pregnant). When she was a baby, she would occasionally get so mad at us (in her crib, for instance) that she would cry so hard she'd kind of gag, but nothing more than that ever.
It all starts pretty calmly when we take her in, she whimpers and cries a bit as we talk her through it and show her the toys. Then, after she's able to take it in and realizes that we are, indeed, leaving her alone starts to totally freak out. We know the puke is coming when she starts this forced cough thing. The first two weeks she covered Beau enough that we all had to go home and re-shower. This week we thought it would be smart for me to try and take her in (maybe she'd do better with me now), but the barf eventually came. And as soon as I had cleaned her up in the bathroom and gotten her coat on to go home, she was running around and playing like nothing ever happened. She's figured out the sure-fire way to get out of nursery.
I was especially bugged with her yesterday because she barfed on me (I know that's unfair - I kind of laughed when she got Beau the first time). I decided that I needed to find a way to help her understand that doing that was not "ass-eptable" (thanks super nanny).
I brought the girls home and made Tatum stay in her room with no toys or TV until it was time for church to be over. She sat and read books for the entire hour and a half, with some resistance, of course. I'm not sure what else to do. I really, truly think she's intentionally doing this to get out of going. At the same time, I can't take her back in covered in puke or stripped naked because she soiled her clothes. What's a mom to do?
HELP!
6 comments:
we have the same issue...collin HATES nursery. HATES it. he'll get in there, and then wave his hands, signing "all done." and then he tells me he's all done. but he ALSO throws up when he gets extremely mad and is crying. but he usually does it to get out of going to sleep. i have no idea what to do...we just have to stay with him the WHOLE darn time in nursery. he won't let us leave. i feel the frustration.
We didn't have the problem of barfing, but Taryn realized that it was more fun to hang out in the hall then sit through sacrament. So know if we have to go in the hall she has to sit on mine or Beau's lap instead of getting down and running around. It's not much fun for her and we very very rarely have to take her out.
My suggestion would be to bring a change of clothes, clean her in the restroom and take her back. Let her know that no matter what she does she's going to have to go back.
With Olivia we just dropped her off and left. It was really hard to leave her crying so I sat out in the hall for a few sunday's so I could go back in and get her if she got too out of control. It took a few times, but she eventually was fine. Kids are resiliant your not going to traumatize her by letting her cry a bit even if she makes her self throw-up. Kids are smart they know how to work us don't they! Don't worry it will pass I promise! :)
Trust me - nothing is ruled out in this case. We've gone in and stayed with her, watched the entire time through the window, everything and she just doesn't like it. The first time I took her (ever) she screamed at the door - the kid has major separation anxiety and I think she's figured out the surefire way to get her way. She reacts the same way when I leave her with Beau or he leaves her with me - she hates anyone leaving her. She's started to try it with other things (like time out at home). I'm afraid I just have a very clever and stubborn child.
Oh, I am soo sorry! My little bro Daniel did that all the time and he actually got kicked out of preschool due to his seperation anxiety "problem." I'll have to ask my mom what she did--but I think they just have to grow out of it. Ty stopped caring that I left him when he turned 2 1/2-3 years. I think Daniel grew out of that about 6 months ago--just kidding!! Good Luck!
I know I have only been a Mommy for 9 weeks now,but I have heard of Moms taking their kids into church during the week and practicing. Maybe you could practice going into nursery and tell her this is what happens on Sundays and then give her a treat when she gets in car. I don't know. Just a thought.How are the nursery leaders? I agree with ransgirl and to never rule out that something might be bugging her. Poor little thang. You hate to see her so upset. Good luck Ego and sorry I couldnt make it to the tupperware party. Just had to throw that in!
Okay, I have held back until I read everyone else's replies.
I think my sister is a wise woman:) And I think Tate is a very smart girl. Sure, she could be acting out to get her way, but my gut tells me there is something, even if it's only in her little world, very scary to her about going to nursery.
From this perspective of being the grandmother, I wish I would have paid more attention to what my children were trying to tell me, even before they could speak clearly. Paying attention back then may have saved us all a lot of pain and grief.
Just my .02 cents.
Gotta love a determined girl, either way:)
Mom
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